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Yea, he’s back. GUCCI. BURRR. He’s actually icey enough that I’m ok with him spittin’ out BURR every 30 secs. on his tracks, it’s better than the DMX ‘dawg’ bark isn’t it? On an unrelated note, it’s dissapointing Gucci can’t tweet in jail, even though Lil Wayne somehow seems to be doing it through his @liltunechi by passing notes to his brother or something. Who knows. Anyways, pretty excited to see Gucci Mane dropping his new album “The Burrprint HD2″ on my birthday next week, April 13th. A lot of the tracks on the album have already been assaulting the air waves pretty hard and I’ve been utterly enjoying it: “Lemonade”, “Spotlight” w/ Usher, and “Wasted” among others.
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It’s been a big few weeks for shitty pop songs, first Selena Gomez’ “Naturally” was featured on the site, and now I bring you the best in teenie bopper hearthrob duos, Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston. Now you may have already heard this song on the radio by now, but if you haven’t yet I assure you this will be the most highly played song of the next 3 months. Hell, they’re probably even have the #1 ringtone for the next year, primarily because no one downloads ringtones over the age of 15. The thing I never get is, how are 16 year olds singing about hot girls that are probably close to twice their age when their balls probably haven’t even dropped yet. Oh well, it’s catchy nonetheless, it’s Justin-frickin’-Bieber. Oh and doesn’t Sean Kingston look like the Hood Rat Kid 7 year old who took his grandma’s car for a joy-ride from last weeks Tosh.O episode’s ‘Web Redemption’ segment? I think so…
Now usually I don’t do this– and not for want of being a complete elitist music asshole– but I heard this fantastically shitty pop song on 95.5 just now that I actually have to post. Like I said, I don’t neglect radio music from my posts usually because I’m trying to be a music elitist (whether or not it happens is another matter) but because I just often don’t feel the songs on the radio are any sort of creative (with the exception of Trey Songz and anything having to do with really ridiculous R & B, a post for a different day…), but this new song “Naturally” by Selena Gomez actually has got me going. Oh, and apparently she has/had? her own Disney show “Wizards of Waverly Place”? Whatever, she’s the hottest thing to grace the Disney Channel since Miley Cyrus. It couldn’t be a coincidence it started getting playtime right around Spring Break; “Naturally” is basically a fist-pump ready Eric Prydz beat with a really hot girl who can actually sing.
Ok, so this is going to seem a little, perhaps even a LOT, weird but this Nick Jr. show Yo Gabba Gabba! is legitttt. Yo Gabba Gabba! originally aired in 2007 and is now in it’s 3rd season and the show is aimed to be a musically themed educational show. Man, I wish I had show like this when I was growing up over Sesame Stree any day with musicians like Of Montreal and MGMT doing segments. Oh yea, and did I mention Biz Markie practically hosts the show and does “Biz’ Beat of the Day”?
I just don’t get it. How does Robert “R. Kels” Kelly get away with it? First pissin’ on women, then Trapped In The Closet, to this, a song entirely about getting a girl of his choice pregnant. That’s right, you heard right, R. Kelly made a song about impregnating a women out of wedlock and it never ONCE showed up on the news. What’s worse is that Tyrese features on the track as well, but all of that pales in comparison to the lyrics of the song. For example
“I ain’t seen nothing like her around here in a while,
And if I had a girl she’d be the one to bear my child,
Telling myself I’m a playa so I keep tryna shake it off,
But I keep on seeing this big old house with a picket fence and a dog, Never felt nothing like this,
Shes more than a mistress enough to handle my buisness,
Now put that girl in my kitchen,”
Wow Kels, just wow. If those lyrics weren’t enough think of the follow-up “so this song has got me hungry, baby baby, so tell me you want me, baby, baby [and make me a fuckin' sandwich]“. Misogny at it’s finest, where are the up in arms feminists when you need ‘em?
Listen to the song:
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I can’t get enough of this song right now, I keep hearing it on WJLB like every 20 mins., and let’s face it, Gucci Mane is no doubt the hottest rapper in the game right now…all from behind bars. Take a listen to the newest Gucci Mane single “Lemonade”, you might want to put some sunglasses on if you watch the video, that’s a shit ton of canary yellow…
(to download right-click and ’save as’)
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Sigh, Valentine’s Day is a day for sleeping in late, cuddling with the one you love, breakfast in bed, dozens (multiple) of roses, fancy dinners that break the bank, and that magnanimous term and emotion, ‘love’. Unless that is, you’ve recently had your heart ripped out by that very same person; indeed, love ’stinks’. No fear though, as with every major emotionally crippling event in life, your good pal Music will be there to envelop you in a warm blanket of self-deprecating pity, trembling anger, and well, the ominous feeling that you’re better off without her anyway. As such, I find it appropriate to take you through the 5 stages of the grieving process with my favorite break-up songs to match. It should prove an interesting ride, hold on to your hats for this emotional roller coaster.
So I just had my world rocked via The Alt Report and Hipster Runoff. I knew there was something REALLY familiar about Jay Z’s song “On To The Next One” from the beginning, but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. In fact, I had been meaning to do a blog post on how similar the song sounded to this amazing discordant Brooklyn dancepop duo Sleigh Bells. One half of Sleigh Bells is actually a public school teacher in the Bronx, that’d be a sweet teacher to have (and she’s hot). But anyways, as it turns out, Jay Z actually ended up sampling Justice’s 2009 break out hit “D.A.N.C.E.” for “On To The Next One”. Damn, I knew there was a reason I was lovin’ that song so much, and well, if you don’t believe me check out the video below for proof.
Anyone who knows me knows my favorite character from Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF) is that New Jersey guido himself, Caarrrlllll. Check out this funny clip from Carl for his “Stone Cold Lock of The Century Lock of The Week” (don’t worry it’s not supposed to make sense). Lay all your money on the Saints!!!
Dis Dem Colts Gonna Win Dat Game Dere.
His AFC-NFC Pro Bowl is pretty funny too. Carl uses his gift for analogy to explain his frustration over having to wait an extra week for the awesomeness of the Super Bowl with only the awesomeness of the Pro Bowl to tide him over.
It’s no secret by now that I love Adult Swim, and consequently I stay up way too late watching it (like right now, 2:40 a.m. already?!). There is a definitely a reason I’m such an Adult Swim fanboy though, and that reason can be clearly and succintly summed up by one thing: Pole Dance Hero. That’s right, you read right. POLE. DANCE. HERO. Now obviously anyone under the age of 65 knows what this is ripping off, like Guitar Hero, and the recently released DJ Hero that has grown to infamy. My god though, Adult Swim has done it with this one… You play Jane Doe the stripper, with this encouraging prompt to get you started on a career of blowjobs in back alleys and healthy, promising, relationships with upstanding men named Upgrayedd (two D’s for a double dose of pimpin’): “For some it’s a way to pay the bills, for you its a noble calling. Make that money-but above all make your parents proud. Pole dance…for glory!” If this isn’t the best damn premise for a video game I don’t know what is.
